TIWWCHNT III: False Advertising

TIWWCHNT III: False Advertising


One of the single largest bits of bandwidth abuse these days. And it keeps finding ways of getting worse, too.

Moving on from technicalities, there's really a lot that can go wrong with advertisements on the net. They're getting so extremely obnoxious these days, it's really hard to keep your cool when talking about them. So I won't even try.

Abusing Whitespace for Large Advertisements

I've seen this abomination creep into sites lately. The idea is that they have a basic fixed-width layout, and their marketing crowd notices how on higher resolutions they have a lot of unused space right next to the page. So some tool seems to have come up with the glorious idea to plaster that with advertisements. Often they're big honkin' animated flash advertisements, too.

If you ever did this, I just have to ask: are you fucking insane? Seriously? How fucking desperate do you have to be do this?! You're the reason I don't put flash on my computers! Now curl up in a corner somewhere and don't come out until you've learned your lesson! Jeez, the nerve of some people...

Video Advertisements

This is in the same vein as the last one. You're browsing a couple sites, have a ton of tabs open and all of a sudden there's a bloody announcer coming from god knows where, tells me to get some random new cleaning product or other utterly unrelated crap. Here's something to remember: wasting peoples' time and bandwidth like that immediately puts you on my personal naughty list. Video advertisements on web sites are so extremely out of place that it's hard to even find words for it.

Except maybe for these two: Ad Blocker. Yes, you made me install one of those, are you happy now?

Popups, Popunders and In-Page Overlays

The former two here seem to have lost most of their effect, with even mainstream browsers now shipping with popup blockers by default. But that latter practice where people use some form of scripting or another to render something that pretty much looks like a popup but is inside the page but over everything else... that's just wow. Let's put it this way: I hate you with the passion of a thousand burning suns. Especially if you put videos in that overlay.

Blocking Users with Ad Blockers

Speaking of Ad Blockers, all of you dicks out there that actually waste your time implementing techniques to block people with advertisement relief systems active: If you block me from viewing your site simply because I don't want to waste bandwidth on that crap, then that is, of course, well within your rights. You're hosting the site, you can do whatever you want. But don't expect anyone to rethink their use of an Ad Blocker. You do not have any unique content. Whatever's on your site is easily obtained somewhere else, so screw you!

Also, how come anyone falls for the But it's just to pay for the server bills and we can't pay the server without the added income from advertisements excuse? Honestly? You can't pay ten lousy bucks a month for a server? Well, here's a thought: mooch it outta someone. Or put a donate button on the site. If I like it, chances aren't so bad I'll just wire you the money. Or even offer to host it for you. But of course that will never happen if you decide to block me outright for not wanting to see ads.

Written by Maggie Danger ().